Group crit reflectionPosted: March 8, 2016
Having just had our group crit session, which took a sum total of 8 hours, I can only say that I currently feel completely dejected and exhausted.
Going in to the session, I felt reasonably confident, having had a tutorial with Ingrid the week prior in which I came out feeling very positive, with the idea of creating a set of pewter medals which will be embedded into the cover of handmade books, each book with illustrations depicting something of the history or experience of that object. However this week when discussing the same ideas, I felt as if the reception was resoundingly negative, with many more problems being flagged up by Ingrid herself than when discussing it the week before. While she was addressing points which I need to develop upon, (how many pages will the books have, what objects will I be focussing upon) these came across less as a constructive piece of advice of what needs to be refined, and more as a criticism of my ideas which at this point in the project is extremely demotivating. Whereas last week I came out of the tutorial feeling as if I had a positive path forward, and felt confident in investing into the idea of making books, I now feel full of doubt and uncertainty, and lacking in conviction in what I’m doing. Despite this, I am trying to take the appropriate response of working through these doubts by trying to create a more concrete plan where there are fewer uncertainties. However I am finding it very difficult to move forward and make decisions with certainty when it feels as if every decision I make is then immediately undermined and thrown into doubt. Rather than being told that I have a good basis for an idea which needs much more exploration and development, the impression I have come away with is that I am simply incapable of making these decisions and those which I have made aren’t of value. While I know this isn’t the case, and I will of course endeavour to make my project and my work as strong as it can be, I am finding it increasingly difficult to answer these questions with any confidence as it feels that any idea I have are quickly found to have holes in it, such as in the past week.
However, I am of course aware that the only way in which I will feel more confident about the project and the purpose of pointing out these holes is for me to find answers to these questions. This takes me back into the research stage of the project, where hopefully I will be able to find both inspiration and information to help push this project to completion.